


Ugliest Little Girl

by imaginethat57



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: F/F, Hospitals, Self Loathing, references to verbal abuse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-09
Updated: 2016-07-09
Packaged: 2018-07-22 13:50:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,312
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7441612
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/imaginethat57/pseuds/imaginethat57
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Emma is very sick and stuck in the hospital, and Regina keeps a bedside vigil for her. When Emma is delirious from fever, she says something to Regina that breaks her heart.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Ugliest Little Girl

Everything around her was white and robotic and sterile and it was steadily making bile rise in Regina’s throat. She watched as Emma lay in her hospital bed, as pale as the room around her and fragile as she had ever been. The monitors beeped, and an IV line ran fluids into Emma’s veins continuously. The last few days had worn heavy on Regina. Emma had caught a serious flu, and between throwing up and passing out, she’d developed a fever high enough to make her delirious. When the dehydration and delirium had set in, Regina immediately brought Emma to the hospital.

Occasionally Emma would wake up for a few moments and mutter something nonsensical before falling back asleep. Each time Regina would squeeze Emma’s hand in hers and whisper _I love you, Emma_ until the woman returned to her fitful sleep.

This was the second night Emma would be spending in the hospital, and the second night Regina would be sleeping in the cot next to her girlfriend’s bed that the nurses had brought for her. Snow and Charming had picked up Henry several hours ago to take him back to their loft for the night, as they had done the night before while Regina stayed with Emma in the hospital.

It was getting late and Regina knew she should get some rest for her own sake, so she brushed limp hair away from Emma’s face, kissed her damp forehead, and murmured, “I love you, Emma. Sleep well my beautiful girl.”

Before Regina could turn towards the cot Emma’s face contorted in misery, and it made Regina reach for the nurse’s call button. But Emma spoke before she hit the button, in a tiny, scratched up voice that Regina could barely hear.

“Ugliest little girl in the world.”

Emma’s words were pained but definitive, and the way she spoke them it was obvious even in her fever addled state, Emma was sure these words were true.

A brick dropped in Regina’s stomach and she swallowed hard. There was nothing she could say to find out where that had been buried in Emma’s mind and for how long while Emma was so sick. So instead she bit back the lump in her throat that formed upon hearing Emma speak that way about herself, and she leaned forward and dropped another kiss to Emma’s furrowed brow and whispered another “I love you, Emma.”

* * *

 

A week had passed, and Emma was finally being released from the hospital. Regina had loathed every second of their time spent there. Emma in so much pain and herself being completely helpless to stop it. But the knot in her stomach was finally untangling as she watched Emma lace up her favorite boots with some of her brightness and glow returning after the toll the illness had taken on her.

They waited for the discharge papers to be delivered to Emma’s room, and when Emma finally stood in booted feet and flashed Regina a smile, Regina breathed a sigh of relief. She stood herself and crossed over to Emma, placing a delicate kiss on the blonde woman’s lips before caressing her love’s cheek.

“Have I thanked you enough for taking care of me?” Emma spoke gently, returning Regina’s affectionate gaze.

Regina chuckled lightly and nodded her head, “More than enough, Emma.”

* * *

 

That night, Emma was ready for bed by 8:30 and Regina helped her up the stairs, all the while waiting to voice the question that was tumbling through her brain. As they reached the bedroom, Emma sat heavily on the edge of the bed and turned a meek smile up to Regina before beginning the laborious task of undressing.

“Emma?”

The savior looked up, eyes having grown duller than that morning from her exhaustion. “Hm?” She managed to get out in her slight fog.

“Can I ask you a question? It’s about something you said in the hospital.” Regina sat daintily next to Emma on the bed and took her girlfriend’s hands between her own.

Emma shrugged, and smiled a little when replying, “You can ask, but you know as well as I do that I really don’t remember the majority of my time in the hospital, let alone anything I said.”

Regina returned the smile, and ran her fingers through Emma’s hair with one hand. Emma sighed into the touch and seemed to melt a little. Eventually Regina found the courage to ask what had been eating at her all week, “Well, one night, I said to you, ‘Sleep well my beautiful girl,’ and you got very upset. You looked like you were about to cry, and then you said, ‘Ugliest little girl in the world.’ You were talking to yourself, weren’t you?”

Emma gulped visibly, and the line of her jaw became hard and sharp with the fierce clenching of her teeth. She pulled her hands from where Regina’s hand that wasn’t in her hair laid over them, instead covering her face and attempting to figure out how to begin to respond to that.

Eventually she bit the bullet and looked to Regina. She shrugged again, this time much more stiffly. “It’s no big deal, it’s just something one of my foster mother’s used to say to me sometimes.”

Regina’s head reared back, she knew that none of Emma’s homes had been picturesque, but she couldn’t fathom what had been revealed to her.

“An adult said that to a child? How old were you?” She tried to keep her voice calm, so as not to upset Emma for trusting her with this information.

“I don’t know, I think five or six?” Emma brushed it off, seemingly unfazed by how little she had been to have been treated so cruelly.

Regina seethed, feeling rage and guilt and shame bubbling through her veins. She turned away, not wanting Emma to see how tormented she was by this, how furious she was with herself and this awful woman who had told Emma she was ugly as a child.

Emma wasn’t fooled of course, and she moved her hand to reach out and gently turn Regina’s face to look at her. “I don’t blame you, Regina.”

Regina decided that was a can of worms best left unopened at least for now, so she ignored Emma’s comment in favor of asking her own question, “How long were you with this woman?”

“About three years. Hey Regina, it’s no big deal, it wasn’t that bad. I mean sure she was mean, but hey at least she fed me and let me have clothes that fit. It was okay.” Emma tried to soothe Regina, which only made the brunette more upset. This wasn’t supposed to be about her feelings, so she shut down her instinct to cry and tried to be strong for Emma.

“I’m so sorry she treated you that way, Emma. You didn’t deserve it. And she was wrong. You have never once been ugly.” She placed her hand over Emma’s heart, and let herself be comforted by the beating. “You are beautiful, your soul, your heart, your smile, your eyes, everything. Absolutely everything about you is beautiful Emma.”

Emma smiled simply, but it was hollow. Regina sighed deeply, and spoke again, “You don’t believe a word I’m saying, do you?”

Tears began to slip down Emma’s cheeks as she bit her lip and shook her head as she mumbled, “I’m sorry.”

Regina took Emma’s face between the palms of her hands, feeling salty drops wet her skin, “Oh honey, you don’t have to be sorry. It’s okay. But what I said is true, and you don’t have to believe me now, not until you’re ready. But I’m going to keep telling you how beautiful you really are.”

Regina pulled Emma close to her in an embrace only lovers could know, and held Emma through the rest of her tears.


End file.
